Top 10 Tips for Beginners Having First Time Sex

Reviewed by: Dr. M. Gouri Devi (MBBS, MD- Obstetrics & Gynaecology)

How to Have Sex for the First Time?

Having sex for the first time can be exciting, emotional, and sometimes a little overwhelming. It's important to be well-informed before taking this step. Both partners should prioritize not only pleasure but also physical health and emotional comfort during intercourse.

The key to a safe and positive sex experience lies in open communication, understanding, and preparation. Many people go into their first sexual experience without the right knowledge, which can lead to health issues, unplanned pregnancies, or emotional discomfort.

In this guide, you would find helpful first time sex tips covering everything from communication and consent to protection and pleasure. The goal is to make your experience safe, enjoyable, and free from pressure or confusion.

First Time Sex: What to Expect and Understand

Remember, everyone’s first sexual experience could be different. The idea of having first time sex varies from one person to another, because while one person may consider vaginal intercourse as sex, another person might consider sex to be fingering or oral sex. So, what you are going through while dealing with all experiences would be different each time. That’s why it’s important to stay informed and take care of your health and listen to your own body, because good sex starts with good communication and a healthy body, both physically and emotionally.

Moreover, during first time sex, there can be various types of injuries to the genitals that can make sex intensely painful. In such cases, you should consult a doctor who can provide a better guide to have painless sexual intimacy by treating the underlying health problems.

Break Myths and Build Confidence

There are many misconceptions about what it means to "lose your virginity" and they can affect both men and women. The truth is, virginity is a personal concept, and its meaning can vary from person to person. For some, it may involve penetrative sex, while others define it differently. What matters most is how you choose to understand it.

First Time Sex Tips: What You Should Know

There are some essential tips that you should know before having sex for the first time . There are various aspects that need to be considered when you are planning to experience first time sex. So, these tips would be useful for you to have safer and healthier sexual intercourse.

1. Have Clear Communication

Whether you are a man or a woman, it is essential to maintain clear and open communication with your partner. Discuss what you both want before becoming intimate and agree together. Sex would be more enjoyable if you have clear communication between you and them. Therefore, if you are going to have vaginal sex, oral sex, or other forms of physical intimacy, then you and your partner should have an open conversation about comfort levels, boundaries, and expectations.

Each partner should know the other partner’s off-limits and comfort zones, and this is only possible if both partners engage in clear communication with each other before getting into a physical activity.

2. Maintain Personal Hygiene

In many cases, it has been found that a lack of enough information about sexual intercourse can pose a potential threat to result in sexually transmitted diseases or STDs among partners, especially when someone is having sex for the first time. Lack of proper hygiene during sexual intercourse, there is a high chance of developing infections after sexual intercourse. Therefore, both partners involved in intimacy must maintain proper hygiene. So, wash your hands and genitals before and after sex to reduce infection risk. If either partner has open sores, infections, or concerns, it's best to delay intimacy and consult a doctor.

3. Know Each Other’s Bodies

Sexual intercourse is very much a bodily activity, so both partners should have complete knowledge about each other's body and their capabilities. When both partners have a clear idea about their bodies, they will not have any absurd expectations for themselves, especially when they are having sex for the first time. Understanding each other's body parts can make sex a more satisfying experience and reduce misunderstandings or excessive expectations.

4. Ensure Consent and Avoid Discomfort

Since it’s your first time having sex, it’s important for both you and your partner to talk openly about what you’re comfortable with and what you are curious to explore. The most important part of this experience is mutual consent both of you should feel ready and willing. Understanding each other’s boundaries can help avoid discomfort and ensure the experience is safe, respectful, and enjoyable for both of you.

5. Stay Calm and Go Slow

When someone plans to have first time sex, they may have lots of curiosity and anxiety about sexual activity and it's normal thing, no need to worry. In such case, both partners can feel to rush for the sex instantly, but here you should be stay calm and start gently. Avoid awkwardness and make each other feel comfortable.

6. Do Some Foreplay

For the first time having sex, spend time to build a romantic and emotional connection with your partner, start with some foreplay activity may include kissing, cuddling and touching. You should ask your partner what they want and where to be touched. These activities give the sensual signals to partners and our bodies to prepare for sexual intercourse. While having foreplay, you might get wet if you have a vagina and you might become erect if you have a penis.

7. Always Use Protection

Using protection is absolutely vital when it comes to the matter of having first time intercourse with a partner. Because, having sex without protection, there can be high chances of having unplanned pregnancies and developing various types of sexually transmitted disease such as Chlamydia, Genital Herpes and AIDS. So, it is always advisable to use a condom any kind of protection while you are engaging in first time intercourse.

8. Use Lubricant

By the way vagina produce some lubricant naturally, but you can use lot of lubes to make vaginal sex more comfortable and enjoyable. If you are going to have anal sex, then you must use lube because anal does not produce any type of lubricant. The lubes could be water and silicone-based, or oil based. But don't use oil-based lube if you are wearing condom, because oil can tear the condom which is a high risk for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

9. Explore Different Types of Sex

• Oral Sex: The is common preference among those who are having sexual intimacy, that requires stimulation to head of the penis or clitoris of vagina from mouth. But here is a word of caution: If any of the partners feels oral sex to be painful, then it should be thoroughly avoided.
• Vaginal Sex: The most vital tip for vaginal sex is to use clitoral stimulation to increase pleasure or use lubricants. Also, if a partner feels discomfort with penetration during vaginal sex, they may try out other forms of pleasure. Sexual intimacy is meant to be pleasurable, and when it is your first time, knowing all the details and having enough knowledge about intimacy can result in a safe and painless experience.
• Anal Sex: Some couples may choose to explore anal sex as part of their intimate experience. In such, the partners need to note that the anal area does not have enough lubrication like the vaginal area. So, lack of self-lubrication anal sex can feel tense or uncomfortable if not approached with proper preparation and communication, the partners can use external lubrication for a painless and comfortable experience. If you or your partner have digestive issues like diarrhea, constipation, or hemorrhoids, it's best to avoid anal sex until fully healed.

10. What to Do Post-Sex (Aftercare)

After your first sexual experience:

• Talk to your partner about how you felt.
• Clean up with warm water and gentle soap.
• Pee after sex (especially for women) to prevent UTIs.
• If you are worried about STIs or pregnancy, consult a doctor or health clinic.

Final Thoughts

Sexual intimacy is meant to be enjoyable, respectful, and safe. Your first time should be about shared trust, comfort, and mutual exploration. By staying informed, prioritizing consent, and maintaining communication, you are more likely to have a positive experience.

If you have any concerns about your sexual health, feel free to ask a doctor now .